In Sickness and Health: Becoming His Wife’s Full-time Caregiver
Family bonds are often forged in adversity. When Madam Rokiya was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2022, her husband, Mr Rafi, selflessly left his full-time job to be by her side.
In no time, the former driver picked up the intimate skills of caring for a terminally ill individual – dressing wounds, and administering subcutaneous injections, which he did under the careful guidance of the SCS Home Hospice team.
When Madam Rokiya became bedbound, Mr Rafi remained unwavering in his devotion. He fed her, washed her, and changed her soiled diapers.
His new vocation rarely afforded him rest. “I appreciate my husband because he is the only one with me every day when I feel lonely while my children are at school,” said the late Madam Rokiya of Mr Rafi. “He’s the one taking care of me.”
A Final Wish
Cancer caregiving is a long journey, demanding that caregivers be present day and night for their loved ones. Not only did Mr Rafi find himself tending to his wife’s physical needs, he became her source of emotional and spiritual support too.
With both Madam Rokiya and Mr Rafi unable to work, their eldest daughter, only 22, stepped up as the household’s sole breadwinner. Her income, barely $1,500, was stretched thin meeting the family’s needs and her mother’s medical expenses. On top of caring for his wife and children, Mr Rafi had to apply for financial assistance from various organisations.
And yet, the family’s three-room HDB flat remained filled with the sounds of laughter and joy. In adversity, Madam Rokiya’s children and relatives came together to support her care. Together, they were determined to fulfil her last wish: To pass on at home, surrounded by family.
A Legacy of Love
Although the time Madam Rokiya had left was limited, Mr Rafi wanted to create positive memories with her, and for her. Ten days before her passing, the couple celebrated their eldest daughter’s birthday, a treasured experience for the whole family. “She brought us together when she deteriorated,” Mr Rafi remarked.
Madam Rokiya passed away surrounded by loved ones. Mr Rafi’s dedication left a profound impression on those who came into contact with the family. Healthcare professionals who visited the household would later speak of the family’s unified spirit during Madam Rokiya’s final days. Many left with this poignant thought: “When I am dying, I also want to have the same experience at home as Madam Rokiya.”