Celebrating Each Day of Being Alive
In 2018, when John Chia learnt he had advanced stage prostate cancer, he was with his wife and two daughters. The news was sobering but the family chose not to dwell in sorrow.
That very same day, they treated themselves to a nice dinner and dessert.
“We also took photos as there was a sense that such times could not be taken for granted,” shares John, who turns 70 this year.
For John, a retiree , it’s these joyful moments that provide hope during his cancer journey. Some are modest – like the family dinner – while others are a little more special, like the 40th wedding anniversary celebration that John and his wife enjoyed, complete with a family photoshoot at East Coast Park.
His children also organised a 70th birthday bash held this year for over 50 friends and family members. “I’ve never had such a big celebration, but decided it was a good opportunity while I still could to give thanks to God, my family and friends,” explains John, who is Christian.
No matter the scale, John sees these moments as opportunities to celebrate life while he still has it.
Finding an Anchor
Cancer often brings a loss of certainty, leaving many searching for something to hold onto.
John recalls conflicting prognoses from different doctors. One said he had five to ten more years to live, while another urged him to settle his affairs soon. In 2021, three years after his initial diagnosis, he suffered a relapse. The cancer had spread to his bones.
What grounded him was his faith which gave him confidence in a life after death, as well as comfort to know God’s care for him. “There is a Bible verse that says God cares for the birds of the air and the flowers in the field, and yet I am much more valuable to Him. I was comforted to know that God loved me and was still in control of my life.”
To all cancer patients, John advises: “Find an anchor that will give you hope for the future and purpose for each day.”
Looking to the Future
John speaks of the future with calm acceptance. He is aware that the drugs he takes today may no longer work if the cancer develops resistance. And as he and his wife support a friend with a more advanced form of cancer, he confronts mixed feelings: Pensive that he may be in a similar state one day, coupled with a sense of fulfilment. “I am thankful for what I am still able to do for now,” he reflects.
Through his cancer journey, John has attended L.I.G.H.T. Groupwork, a programme offered by the Singapore Cancer Society for advanced stage patients. The therapeutic groupwork has provided John with clarity on difficult issues, such as finding hope in the face of death. It has helped him and his family prepare for the inevitable.
“We need to accept the fact that everyone, with or without cancer, will die one day. Living with cancer is no more of a death sentence. What matters is that we live purposefully with the time we have,” he muses.
To that end, John advises cancer patients to involve their loved ones in their journey. He makes a point to share medical updates with his family, in addition to his reflections. This helps them understand his innermost thoughts. “Don’t walk this journey alone,” he urges.